Bad at conceding that reality will always win, but getting slightly better.
I've been concerned over my inability to write these past few weeks. I sit at my computer and it's the last place I want to be. Is it writer's block? Is the "I have a blog? Who the eff has a blog?!" weirdness getting to me? Is it some sort of self-sabotaging behavior stemming from my childhood? Oh my god, what is going on?! I must be broken. Maybe I need to meditate more... or buy new boots. Probably both.
The far less dramatic, far more realistic answer is that I'm simply tired. It was a busy fall. An amazing fall chalk-full of classes, workshops, and new opportunities. And, naturally, it wore me out a little. That's how life works. Constant activity and growth, no matter how fun or worthwhile, is not sustainable. Lord knows I've tried. Last time it ended with me spending the better part of three months laying on my kitchen floor in 2013. Activity needs rest. The exciting needs the mundane. Happy needs some sad. Good hair days need poodle-with-paw-stuck-in-light-socket hair days. It's obvious, and it's easy to forget when it doesn't suit our plans. Like it or not it's just how reality rolls.
So, I'm going to do a rare thing and actually take my own advice. Y'know, that whole self care thing. Rather than reality inevitably kicking my ass, as it is so adept at doing, I'm choosing to detox from busy this month. I'm going enjoy my walks, books, and floor-time guilt free. And when I'm ready to bare my practice, soul, and dumb selfies online again, I will. I still have pages of potential "bad at's" to share with you. Just not right now.
I know that's not how social media works (post constantly or be forgotten!!!) but it's how I work, so fuck it.
Happy holidays :-)