Bad at Bird of Paradise Pose, and whatever it's called in Sanskrit
It's a beautiful pose, one of my favorites. Or it was until I realized that no matter how much I strained and surrendered my body was never going to contort into its pretty shape. That is, of course, when I started hating it. To me it brings to light all my apparent yoga body shortcomings. These are not features that can be ironed out with more practice- they are simply, innocently the way I'm put together. And sadly they are not conducive to safely lifting my foot over my head while binding my hands behind my back. When I try I look and feel like Quasimodo on a bender.
I have relied a lot on appearances for validation- in yoga and in life. My wrestling with this pose both figuratively and literally demonstrates this. From that stemmed a willingness to push myself to the point of breaking in order to look pretty. That's not yoga. That's vanity and insecurity fueling my practice (and my injuries).
It's effed up. I've been working on it.