I have a lazy side ass. It’s sad, but true.
It’s part of a chain that starts at my easily pronated feet and goes all the way up through my internally rotated femurs. Basically my legs twist towards each other at my hip, knee, and ankle joints partly due to lack of proper muscular support from my deep hip rotators and literal hip (side ass) muscles. And that’s after twelve years of yoga and self-proclaimed yoga butt.
I’m very proud of that butt, by the way. You might even say I’m attached to it. Wah-wah.
The reality is that I can look good in stretchy pants but still have muscles that don’t really know their purpose in my body. Oh reality, you are such a mischievous and humbling thing. Appearance and health are two very different things. I was a little pissed when that truth really hit me. It means I have to be honest with myself every time I physically practice yoga, every time I want to buy health supplements or ‘detox’ my body, and even why I meditate. Is it supporting my well being or is it wanting to look hot? (hot i.e. control i.e. suffering) Hot in this case meaning some kind of shit-free spiritually endowed Wonder Woman… hmmm that actually sounds rather terrifying.
But back to that hot piece of lazy side ass. There is an effective and functional fix for both it and my oft confused legs. It’s called the pelvic list. I won’t get into the how-to specifics but if you Youtube it you’ll find a ton of instructional videos. It looks easy enough- basically standing on one leg- but appearances are deceiving. Best thing about it? I can do it covertly in public without looking like a complete newsh-bag (new-age-douche-bag). #newshbag
Now THAT one will go viral!!